glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
