You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am available for nakedness
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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