I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
