Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
