dude i'm inner monologue high
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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