I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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