Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
