xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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