Have you finally orgasmed yet?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
