porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
