i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize