I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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