I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize