bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
