I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize