is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
