did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
