I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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