i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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