My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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