it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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