Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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