Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
