I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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