So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
