Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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