508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
false alarm, still single
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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