the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
