By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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