Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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