I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
