How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
