you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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