me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
