so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
