His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize