i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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