i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
