I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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