So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
