apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
do nipples grow back?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
