Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
