I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
