bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
