One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
