The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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