That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
