why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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