is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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