are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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