as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
