What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Randomize
