feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
