You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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