Why are handjobs necessary in class?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
