Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where is the hickey?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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