4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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