so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dignity is for republicans.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
