Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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