I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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