eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
